In Need.

Posted by Whit Barringer , Friday, July 04, 2008 12:26 AM

I've been better, I've been worse. The days at the museum are long and tedious, and my life seems to reflect that now. Nothing's really exciting at the moment, and nothing seems to be positive either.

Then I talk to my grandmother today, and things get worse. I already knew that Medicare faces a 10% cut due to a Republican block in the Senate. I already knew that it was going to have an adverse affect on my family unless people figure out how to fix it. But then worse news came. Gran gives a sort of home health service for the elderly who cannot help themselves. Last week, she lost one of her jobs, but was able to pick up a new one that will take up a bit of the slack. Then, her other couple, whom she's been watching for about a year now, decided that it was time to go into assisted living - meaning she lost that job as well.

I have applied for a few jobs for weekends during the school year, which I didn't want to do but I don't see a choice if we're going to survive. Yet I know what's going to happen if I do this. I'll implode, like I did several times this last year, and I will be at another unhappy point in what is supposed to be the best years of my life. But it's beyond the point of each family member taking care of herself. There is a very tense reliance-defiance relationship amongst each member of my family, alive or dead, old or young. We need each other, but we don't want each other, and the resentment builds with each lent hand, no matter if it's loaning money or paying it back. There's a sense of entitlement that can only be so sincere when people love each other because of blood and few other connections. We are all three different people, with different motives, with different understanding, of how we work.

Now the time has come for me to make a decision. I can save my body, mind, and sanity and hope for the best that my 66-year-old grandmother, with her multiple health problems, can make it without my help, and I will live my own life and look back only to wave and smile. Or I can take the hard route that will burn, hurt, and leave me breathless from now until I'm finally able to leave, whenever that would be. The worst thing about all of this? I know which way I have to go, and it hurts to think of what that means for my future.

I have to help them. Times are tough now, I know that. And I also know that I have no idea how hard they can get, and I'm not prepared. But I know I can't sit by while my grandmother is reduced to eating one meal a day and never going to the doctor. I love her, and I can't bear to see her suffer.

I'm looking for ideas. I can write. I can brainstorm. I can lay bricks. I can do something, and I can do it soon. I want to be able to do something that will give me time with my family, so that I'm not squandering what time I have left to spend with them.

I'm not asking for in-roads and favors. I'm asking for ideas, work, and jobs that I can win on my own merit.

Thank you.

1 Response to "In Need."

Jeremy Says:

Immovable objects and irresistible forces.

SFI of Arkansas needs someone to do part time clerical work:

The ICT group needs a call center agent:;_ylt=ApdHJKiGTT8g.AXlRcl7HEv6Q6IX

Smith Ford needs a delivery driver:;_ylt=AhYkBui7AKBKz2vHSXENq3X6Q6IX?search_url=%2Fjob-search-l-Conway-AR-m-0-e-0-1

Arkansas Box needs machine operators:;_ylt=AgEa5PLhTevROVIUnoS_3ij6Q6IX

You could, actually, lay brick:;_ylt=AoSKac6mCpv3lXs5kqYOLhP6Q6IX

Network Express, inc needs Contract Couriers:;_ylt=AgUuVlk6wOxv68Oesj0kUwP6Q6IX

Conway Elementary needs a library media specialist:;_ylt=Alp4uwdnYIurXXn8JJ.zqo76Q6IX?search_url=%2Fjob-search-l-Conway-AR-m-0-e-0-1%3Foffset%3D30

Some of these might be completely impractical, but it's a start.

Stay well,

Post a Comment