Facebook Quotes

Posted by Whit Barringer , Tuesday, February 16, 2010 2:22 AM

For those who can’t see my Facebook, this is how the current quote section looks.

Me: I went to France!
Matt: Fun! How’d it go?
Me: It was a lot of fun. The food is good, if expensive.
Matt: Trust the French to take it out of you for sustenance.
Me: Funnily enough, I didn’t have cake.
Matt: Hah! That’ll show the oft misquoted aristocracy!
Me: Indeed! *adjusts monocle*
Building a desk in my room:
Me: And here’s the part where I’d need a hammer. Dammit.
Anthony: Do you have anything heavy?
Me: My head. I can just hit all of the nails in that way.
Anthony *completely serious*: Well, we can wrap it in a blanket.
Me: …What? Well, I don’t… what?
Anthony: What? Oh, I didn’t mean that. I meant whatever you used.
Me: I was hoping that wasn’t our only option.
Walking past a Tyler Perry movie poster:
Me: On my list that I’m making of a hundred things to do before I die, one of them is to see a Madea movie.
Grad School Drew: Well, one, I hope you really are making a list, and two, I hope that that’s not on it. Because we shouldn’t be talking.
“I want nap options.”
“I still can’t believe that those are free.”
-Jeremy after a kiss from Lauren.
“I’m pretty sure it’s impossible to open [the .wps file extension] these days. He might as well have sent us the Dead Sea Scrolls.”
“Don’t judge me for licking my hamburger.”
Lauren: I’ve enjoyed getting to know you while you’ve been here!
Me: And becoming best friends!
Lauren: Totally!
[At the same time]
Me: Best friends forever, best friends forever, ring!
Lauren: We’re the two best friends that anyone could have!
Me: [pause] We’re singing different songs, but they have the same sentiment!
“I loved her too… But what man can compete with a god?”
-Maferath, DA:O
Hannah: Magical Realism always makes me think crazy. ‘And then Hannah watered the garden with tears. Even now when the roses bloom everyone weeps. Hannah touched the doorknob and smelled lemons. And she knew that Pedro had died. So she made a quilt out of her own hair.’ I smelled lemons because everyone in the village said that Pedro’s heart was a lemon. He was mean and could never love anyone. I was the only person in the whole world who really knew him and loved him. When he died I was his only mourner. His daguerrotype fell down off the wall and broke into four equal pieces when he died. So I made a quilt that would be a part of my body and would never break and would never die. It would keep people I loved warm. And it was so big that when I folded it it was 5 feet tall! The end.
Jonathan: I rate your story 3 cuils. Highly recommended. Would read again. A++
Hannah: Thanks… It only happens when I pretend I am Spanish.
There is always the rain, always the winter, always the shadows. The body vanishes, only the mind remains, watching and enduring; a little flame flickering in the shadows. So it will go on until dawn slowly casts its light through the rain onto these heroes, these pale faces and frozen bodies.
-L’Argonaute [French WWI trench newspaper], 6-15-1916