Today was kind of a sick day for me. After going to the class for which I TA, I headed back home and started cleaning the living room. For my entertainment while doing so, I cracked open my 70th Anniversary
Wizard of Oz Blu-ray. As soon as the movie started up, I was transported to my childhood in the early 90s. When I was a wee little thing, my parents had taped the 1989 50th Anniversary TV Special, which had a very neat documentary about the film narrated by Angela Lansbury. I remember the commercial at the beginning telling people to fill out their census. I remember the fast food commercials in between featuring fish sandwiches in clam shells (which I'm pretty sure were narrated by Eartha Kitt). I remember the Salad Shooter commercial. I remember watching it with my grandfather until the tape was nearly worn out.
It was that last memory - sitting beside or with my grandfather in his chair, watching and singing and laughing along with the movie - that was most with me when I was watching today. It was what I remembered at key moments in the film, and what made my eyes sting with tears that never actually came. The only other movie I watched with him more was the second VHS tape of
Titanic. That one I would stick in the VHS player and my grandfather would always ask, "Are we sinking the boat again?" To which I would always reply, "It's the best part!"
I have run my self to the bone these last few weeks. I felt my limit coming on Wednesday night when I was staying up late trying to finish an assignment that was a few hours past due. When I woke up early then next day, I felt like I was physically hollow yet heavy. It's a familiar feeling, one that I've encountered many times in undergrad after pushing myself too far to be functional anymore. After my class (where I was basically told that I had been assigned the wrong book) and after disappointing news from work (work harder to get the same amount of pay), I felt it was time to let go for a day or so.
I went to bed somewhat late last night (I've almost become nocturnal, so it was hard not to), went to class this morning, came home, watched the Wizard of Oz, and felt like I was five again. I fell asleep during the movie, and ended up taking a nap directly afterward. It was glorious.
When I woke up again later today, I knew I had things that needed to be done, but I took my time working on them. I'm still not done, but with my sleeping schedule, it won't be a problem to finish them soon.
So a retreat to Oz and back and a convalescent period in my living room has gotten me from about 25% to 80% or so, which is pretty damn good for one day.
Happy Friday, everyone.
(If you want to help me out by giving me fodder for blog posts, don't be shy to use formspring.me/adamantfire. I won't answer/write on everything, but you never know what I'll use.)
Life is topsy turvy at the moment. Everything's up and down, and sometimes at the same time. My job has been at a questionable point for quite a while, but a meeting helped to reset the feelings that had grown hard with time. Also, I got to go through a magazine to pick out things to order for two days straight. I hadn't had so much fun in months. I swear to God I should have been an accountant.
Otherwise, I don't get a stimulus check because my mother claimed me on her taxes, yet money seems to still be in good supply this summer despite my depending on that check - which is more than many can say. The VDCC Top 30 countdown is going well, but looking forward to each entry seems to make my weeks go by faster. People, it's mid-July. Where the hell did the time go?
I'm going to have some big news coming up (though I'm going to wait until it's definitely official before I tell you) that I'm very excited about, but I'm also apprehensive - as I am with all new steps. But I have hopes that this step could ultimately help to curb the impending doom I so carefully outlined before. Like one of my friends says when quoting The Hold Steady, I need to stay positive.
Oh yeah, and the last best/worst thing.
Coheed and Cambria, my favorite band with my number one favorite lead singer and future artistic collaborator (I almost said "husband", but I didn't want to seem too hopeful), Claudio Sanchez, are doing the most amazing epic music spectacle to grace the prog-rock stage in many moons. They are going to play four nights, and each night they are going to play every song from their albums.
The catch?
Those four concerts are in New York and Los Angeles. How disappointing. My mom gave me a friendly/playfull nudge saying that maybe I could afford to do a Fun Fare if I plan enough in advance, but I doubt that it could happen. Oh, but if it could, though. How often does this happen? Honestly? Jeebus.
Anyway, I've got three reviews coming up soon for VDCC. I don't know when I'm going to finish the Washington Journals, but I promise I'll do it soon. I've got some free time coming up this weekend that, while I'm not playing Civilization Revolution, I will work on.
I am officially swearing to the following items for the rest of the summer (and by summer, I mean September 22):
- I will update VDCC every week.
- I will finish the Washington Journals this week and reveal the grand finale over five consecutive weeks.
- I will take up recycling.
- I will have a book on hand at all times, and I will finish at least five books.
- I will not drink another carbonated soda.
- I will not eat fast food - no Wendy's, Taco Bell, Sonic, McDonald's, or Subway.
- I will finish every single one of these puzzles in this blasted crossword book.
We'll see how long I last. Be assured, the moment I don't, you'll know.
5-28-07
CT 3:52
IT 10:52
Piove.*
Today hasn’t been too awfully busy – just rainy. We’ve had two or three stints of downpours – one of which was while we were on our way to go eat dinner. But before I get ahead of myself, let me start at the beginning.
This morning we got up and met at Kent State University (the university who we’re studying through in Florence). We went upstairs and were introduced to two of the people who work for KSU here in Florence. Then we had the most entertaining act of the day: a chief inspector from the police department. “Get use-ta to my funny English-a. It’sa bout as good as it’s gonna get-a.” I’m not exaggerating. He was so fun (and cute!). Here are some of the things he told us:
Don’t leave your windows open at any time, especially at night. Robbers have been known to scale buildings to break in.
- The gypsies in the piazzas want you to stop so they can pick your pocket. By the time you realize that they have done so, they’ve taken your money and thrown your wallet away. Don’t stop for them.
- The date rape talk.
- The number one sport in Italy is not football – it’s “women-a.” He said that men will stop women, especially not Italian ones. Why? “Italian women are not friendly-a. They don’t like you. They won’t tell you their name. They will not call the police-a if you are dying-a. American women? ‘My God, you are so pretty and you have such beautiful hair. What is your name?’ ‘Oh, ha! My name is-.’ You see? Americans are-a friendly-a.”
- Strong reactions to men. He said, “You will get tired of their advances. You will get bored and you will *stomps foot and flips up his middle finger*. Or you will go, ‘F*** you, man!’ That is when they get off the bike and smash your face.” He went on to say a girl came in and reported that crime last year.
- Don’t wear a bag on your street-side. Motorcycle riders will come through and steal a bag by jerking it off the shoulder. If it doesn’t come off, they will drag you. “We had four elderly ladies-a die from injuries last year.”
- He rattled off a bunch of other stuff. He was very blunt and honest, which was good. He said the whole thing about not buying off of the sheets from the Central African men, and that much of the crime and duping of tourists comes from immigrants from Tunisia, Morocco, and Algeria, as well as from Eastern Europe. “They will talk to you, they will try to take your money, they will target you.”
- Oh, and about the men who sell off the sheets. They know they do it. Everyone knows they do it. But they allow them to because it's better than them selling drugs.
Glad to know I’m wanted.
He talked for over an hour and I didn't get even close to all he said, but he was good to look at, with his decoration (he had his parachutist badge on), muscles, and Italian accent. After that whole deal, we went to the American Express (where you buy train tickets) – rather, I tagged along- as they talked about buying tickets to go see Pompei and the Cinqueterra (lit: Five Lands). I tried to help out. It started pouring, so we grabbed Paninis and went to a friend’s apartment on Aguillara. We ate there, discussed a plan, chatted it up about ourselves, our parents, education, DHS, and various other subjects, and decided to go get my laptop and go to Kent State to use the wireless. First, we hit the Duty-Free shop ($1200 for a watch, $2500 for a ring, etc. You know – chump change) and then went back to the apartment because it was just so cold and rainy. We regrouped, not to be beaten, and half of us headed for the 99 cent store while I got my laptop. We met at the store and headed for the Duomo and Kent State University. The university is a bit lackluster itself, but the actual building is quite interesting. There are fragments of frescos everywhere in it, and those are the bits that haven’t been painted over. Anyway, I took pictures of some of these while we were there and went ahead and tried to get online. I couldn’t. It was protected. Thinking, “this is not good,” I was told to call Dr. Bane and Danielle, who were both like, “Uhh… I can’t help you.” So I went upstairs and talked to the lady who had given us the largest part of our orientation this morning. She said that Danielle hadn’t included wireless in the cost. So we didn’t have it.
We regrouped again and decided to head to an internet “café” (they kept calling it that, but we’re not actually served anything; therefore, it isn’t a “café”). This agreed, we headed down Anguillara again (passing a wooden Harley Davidson in a window) and found the Wi-fi café that we couldn’t find the other day. So we went in, ordered the token cup of coffee, and used the wireless. It was fantastic to be on this computer and online, so I made the most of it, checking stuff out that I had been missing out on. We looked up train fares and tried to look up bus fares. Armed with more information (but not quite enough), the others left for the grocery store while I stayed put. I called a while later and they were still in the grocery store. I decided to take pictures of Santa Croce (some of which are of really high quality, I think), and generally loafed around Piazza di Santa Croce. I finally saw some of our crowd, who said they wanted to go shopping. I waited outside for them until I finally called. They said they were trying to figure out the evening and that I should just come up. It was okay, though. I had the best strawberry gelato while I was waiting, so not a moment was wasted.
We decided to go to the Piazza di Signore, where the statue of David used to be, etc. As we started out, it began pouring down rain. Some of my new friends met a girl at the supermarket who was here on her own until her school got here. As we were talking and walking, it began pouring down even more. After we finally got to the Piazza di Signore, we couldn’t find a cheap enough restaurant. Finally, we settled on one that, coincidentally, had a waiter who spoke good English. We had trained ourselves to say, “Che cosa mi consigli?” (What do you recommend for me?), but only one of us wasn’t too much of a chicken to say it. Then he kept speaking to us in English.
After a good meal (I had Ravioli with truffle sauce), we made a big ordeal out of paying (eight people split a check). I wanted to look at the statues, which didn’t photo well in the dark. We left in a hurry, as it was cold and still rainy, and went back to the apartment on Anguillara. We regrouped again, decided on where to meet to go to the farmer’s market, and went our separate ways. Rachel and I walked Angela (the girl who’s here alone) to her apartment, and then headed back to ours. I took (another) cold shower, and here I am.
I’m just glad I made some friends. I was kind of worried for a minute.
Anyhoo, I’m having a great time, all. Email me, comment, do something. Tomorrow classes begin, so this will be the only short entry for at least another day or two.
Oh, and to answer Dylan's question, I'm seeing a lot. So nothing's off limits at the moment. But I also have four weeks to do it all in.
*It's raining.
I absolutely hate anticipation.
I've been fighting, trying to find a grad school, trying to scramble and be ready for my journey, and figure out where I want my life to go.
And I'm anticipating it all collapsing while I'm still trying to figure a way to hold it all up.
I am excited. Deep down. But on the surface, and perhaps a bit deeper, I am puzzled by feelings of regret, anxiety, and resentment.
I think it's a combination of all things life and spiritual. But I've been so disheartened lately that I question my own longevity to experience the meat of my life. People say it's gone by; I say it hasn't begun.
Tomorrow marks the beginning of the end of an era. Tomorrow, I begin to understand. Tomorrow, I begin to grow in presence, in strength, in understanding. Tomorrow, I begin to find the answer - if I am woman, if I am man, if I am androgyny personified, if I am human, if I am spirit, if I am goddess, if I am child.
Tomorrow I begin to see the world.
No longer will I be caged. I will taste freedom, and I will covet it, cherish it, and hate it, because it will have ruined my senses for this dimension I have escaped, for this path I have walked, for this air I have cycled. I will hate it and love it and become one with it and part from it - all at once. Once after once after once. Once will turn into a moment, and the moment will last forever. I will be in limbo with my existence, and it will swallow me and spit me, and I will welcome and despise it.
To a land of past, present, and future I travel. Where I find myself I cannot wait to discover.
