Attention spans are for suckas.

Things that I keep wanting to write into my Curriculum Vitae:

• "-incarnated as Shiva, destroyer of worlds, -"
• "-crushed freshman dreams by giving a successful lecture on Nietzsche, -"
• "-fell in love with Kierkegaard all over again, -"
• "-cemented power, overthrew the administration, and became 'Overlord,' -"*
• "-mastered the craziness that is the 10-hour paper,-"
• "-found the meaning of life in the bottom of a bowl of ramen,-"

It almost reads like a Chuck Norris Fact List, doesn't it?

*I don't plan to do this, but it would certainly be an awesome addition to my CV.